Tips for students experiencing homesickness

Now that classes have started, your daughter has begun to create her niche at St. Kate’s. She is meeting many people and encountering new ideas and activities in an unfamiliar environment.

I hope things are going smoothly for your daughter. It's not uncommon, however, for new students to encounter a few bumps in the road during this time of transition. College can seem like an exciting adventure or a scary challenge – or both, depending upon the day, or the hour.

How you and your daughter respond to the first year of college will depend on your temperaments and life histories. For your daughter, it may help to know that some of the difficulties she will experience are part of a normal developmental process and have been survived by many before her.

Homesickness is common during the first year of college. I describe it as a longing to be in a familiar, safe, secure place without having to face changes and challenges that you aren’t sure you can manage. The “symptoms” of homesickness may be slightly different and may emerge at different points in the semester for each individual depending on her own personality and style. It may manifest itself as tears and sadness, for example, or as irritability and anger. It may show up right away or after the excitement of a new beginning wears off, or when tests loom and “life gets real.”

The very name “homesick” has been used to belittle or minimize a feeling that is a very real part of an important developmental process as young adults learn to trust themselves and cope with change. From the time they are born, children work to develop their own sense of identity, to discover who they are and what they can do in the world. Parents help them in this process by allowing their children to have

incrementally more independence and autonomy as the child develops into a young adult. Transitioning to college is part of this process and the parental approach of encouraging independence while maintaining a helpful, nurturing attitude will continue to be helpful. This concept can help guide parents to react to their daughter's homesickness in a healthy way.

Helpful tips to share with your student:

• Allow your student to feel homesick…it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Most students are surprised when it happens. Let your student know it’s normal to feel this way. 
• Get involved…keep busy. Immersing herself in classes, a new club, or Butler Center with a friend are great ways to make the transition.
• Settle in...encourage her to personalize her residence hall room to make it a place she feels really “at home."
• Talk to someone she trusts….her RA, her Complex Coordinator, or her academic advisor are all great resources. Plan a date to go home….but not too soon. We suggest staying on campus for the first six weeks. Just having a visit planned on the calendar will feel good, but waiting a while is best. In the meantime, encourage her to take advantage of all the Student Center and Activities calendar events…especially on the weekends. 
• Ask for help...make an appointment in the Counseling Center if homesickness interferes with her studying or sleep.

If you have any questions or concerns about what your daughter is experiencing, please call the counseling center to consult with one of our psychologists. We may have suggestions for handling a particular situation or be able to guide you to other resources. Phone number is 651.690-6805.