Advice from Students to Parents ... Coming Home for Summer

Editor's note: Each May, we publish this article written by four 2009 graduates after their first year at college. It includes some great advice for parents.

Let me live in your house for free, eat your food, drive your car, use your gas, have you do my laundry, and then leave me alone to do what I want!” Just kidding.

Okay Mom and Dad, so maybe I am not completely kidding about how I’d like life to be at home this summer. Coming home for the summer after being away for the year will be a bit hard for you and me. Spending this year at St. Kate’s has been great in the sense that it has made me grow both intellectually and independently as well. It also means that I am not your baby girl anymore.

Here are some topics that I would like to discuss with you at the beginning of the summer so we can perhaps avoid misunderstandings. What are your expectations? Please share them with me at the beginning of the summer. Do I have curfew? If so, what time is my curfew? Am I allowed to use the car? Do I have to pay for my own gas — keeping in mind I am a poor college student? Will I be expected to contribute to the household by doing chores? I would be very grateful if you would be willing to negotiate on a few of these issues.

I would also like to share with you my experiences while being away at school. At school I have matured and become more independent. I also have been able to take on more responsibilities. As a result, I feel that I am able to grow into a new type of relationship with you, or at least begin one anyway. I do not feel like I am a child anymore. I realize I will always be your child, but I am growing up. I would be appreciative if you would talk to me as an adult.

Here are a few other subjects that are on my mind. First, my sleeping schedule has altered somewhat since I was home last. I am used to going to bed later and waking up even later. It would mean a lot if you would allow me at least a few extra hours to sleep in.

Second, family dynamics may have shifted since I have been away. The readjustment may be difficult, for me as well as the rest of the family, but I think that as long as we all are working on getting along things will be fine. Last, I would appreciate some privacy when I come back. I realize it will not be the same amount of privacy I had while living at school, but a little bit of privacy will go a long way.

I sincerely appreciate your understanding, Mom and Dad. It is my hope that if we both come into this summer with an open mind, the summer will go well. Although I may not always show it, I am happy to be home. After all, it is nice to finally be in a place where I do not have to wear flip-flops in the shower!

Mary Blissenbach '09, Elementary Education
Alaine Clawson '09, Elementary Education
Sara Duevel '09, Deciding
Billie Jo Zak '09, American Sign Language